still feel down

I still feel really tearful about the BLS incident, managed to stick to ww today, and im going to try and do some yoga tomorrow and get back into that.
I dont know wether to go to the gym before I have my routine sorted out for me next wednesday.
I keep trying to think of a fool proof concrete reason why I should stick to weight watchers and never give up, and i can think of many reasons why I should stick to it, but I have known these all along here are some of my reasons:

i will loook nicer
no one will pity me
i will find nicer clothes
i will be fitter
i will be able to move easier
i will be happier
i will be proud of myself
i will actually start to love myself
i will be able to wipe my bum in a normal position on the toilet
i will have more energy
i will look attractive again
i will no longer feel embarassed when i walk into new placements
i will be healthier
i will lower the risk of a heart attack/diabeties
i will be able to run
because i am worth it
my kids will be happier
i will have more energy
i will gain confidence

there is loads of reasons why i should stick to weight watchers, also I have to eat daily so why not eat good heathy food, i will just need to get myself orgainsed a bit to do it. right now i feel so unhappy about everything i wish i could bottle this feeling and keep it for when i feel like giving up so it keeps me on this weight watchers.

lets think of reasons what will happen if i dont do weight watchers:

i will gain even more weight
i will have to buy bigger clothes
i will have to get a bigger uniform
people will look at me with pity next year at clinical skills
i might have a heart attack
i might get diabeties
i will be unhappy
my kids will have a fat mum
i will not be able to run
i will find it harder to live a normal life
i will be the fat friend
people might not employ me
i will lack confidence
people think i am stupid

i just hope that as time goes on i will get a clear set goal in my head, i have always wanted to be able to run, and i have always been over weight so never tried for long, maybe now is the time to do this, i wanted to sign up for a marathon in 2011 but there is no singing up places yet for one, so maybe a sponsored a diet or something will help, i just need a goal to work to that will keep me focused. enough ramblings for now, its good to know i can moan for england here and get out my thoughts. signing off for the night!